Hypocrites. Ain't we all?

Well..this is a touchy topic ain't it?

First off, I'll declare that i do not mean anybody when i'm talking about hypocrites. Not anyone i know, not people i come into contact with, not even the Pharisees in the bible. I mean myself, and from there, i point the question to everybody.

I've been doing a series of teachings on the sermon on the mount [banking on the resources of City Harvest Church], and so far it has been everything that Pastor Kong has promised; it's a spiritual X-ray machine, and the first one to go through it is myself. And it's a painful process.

For someone who professes to be a Christian, who believes in certain values, i'm pretty spineless to keep them. I don't even do enough to keep myself sanctified/holy by any standards, much less God's standards. And yet we are all called to do that, and specifically, i am telling others to keep by the standards that i am preaching to them, and yet i am the one most in need of the message.

Yet, i know this message is important and they[my cell group mates] need to hear it, irregardless of whether i am righteous to say the words, irregardless whether i am a hypocrite for saying these words.

However, we are all fallible humans, frail to begin with, with wills that shatter like porcelein. Yet we try to maintain Godly values that allow us to pick ourselves up and bring the shattered pieces to God. And yet like children, as soon as we are mended, we run away and hit something hard again and come back to God for help again.

How long must i dwell in such meaningless level of maturity? How long more must i bear with my sinful nature, to repent and recurr endlessly? If only there was a way to keep clear of my particular sin, and truly turn to God with Godly sorrow and repentance, shall i truly be able to fight to keep my salvation.

And so i pray for myself.

Small Dark Room

Dear all,

Hmm..in case you guys din realise, the song that i posted on my other blog is written and sung by plain old me..Hence the lousy vocals and simplistic strumming and even lousier recording [courtesy of Creative MuVo Slim..it actually has a microphone] Needless to say, the pickup is poor, and i had to tape it on the back of my chair so i dun have to balance it on my guitar while i play and shout into the small hole to make my voice heard.

Anyway, it only took me a couple of hours to write either song, and record it satisfactorily. Which is not easy, considering that you have no one else singing it before you so you cannot remember how it really goes. Freedom comes difficulty anyway..

And here is this song that you're hearing. It speaks a lot of what i am going through right now in my walk with God, and hopefully you can recognise that i AM singing it to God, not to a lost lover or something..haha..

Here is the Lyrics

Small Dark Room [Music and Lyrics by Bwee]

Verse I
I stand alone / in this small dark room
My arms raised up / seeking you in this crazy world

Chorus:
All I see / Is this small room / where I am seeking you
All I want to feel / is your loving touch / in this wide crazy world

Verse II
Why do you pass me by / As though you don't know me
Am I not broken enough / Do I have too much pride [supposed to be in..i missed this line..haiz]
Did I study too little / Do I think I know too much
Did I not leave the door open / To let you in my life

Chorus:
All I see / Is this small room / where I am seeking you
All I want to feel / is your loving touch / in this wide crazy world (x2)

Bridge
All I wanna see is you / All I wanna hear is your sweet Word
All I wanna seek is you/ is you / is you (x2)

Chorus:
All I see / Is this small room / where I am seeking you
All I want to feel / is your loving touch / in this wide crazy world (x2)

Ending verses:
I don't wanna just dream of you / If so I don't wanna wake
I don't wanna know it's all a lie / I don't wanna know "I don't know you"

Enjoy!

P.S - If there's a urgent request for me to take my ugly voice off the web please do let me know..haha..so i can find other less harmful ways to vent my creative streams..

Serving God

Kinda hit on this topic when i was talking to a friend, and found it rather interesting.

As you guys probably know by now, i'm someone with very wierd views that will seem very controversial. But hey, i AM entitled to my own views right? And i trust that you as my readers do have your own ideas and opinions as well. Or you would make me guilty of improper influence of funny ideas..haha..if there was such a crime

Anyway, the topic was about serving God, and not the world. And i kinda realised that the whole point was to remember that we love God, not the world, not the marketplace where we operate in.

And when we talk about the marketplace, our pastor broke it down neatly into a few sectors that every civilisation would have: Education, Business, Government, Church, Entertainment, Welfare and something else i can't remember. But the point i wanted to use is that Church is one of the marketplace sectors.

And since the topic was about serving God, i was fiercely [okay..maybe only mildly loudly] pointing out that it was possible to love church more than God as well. In many ways too. For example, if you desired to be in church more than you desired to do good deeds, you are loving the church more than God.

I do believe that everyone has misused the term "serving God". What does it mean to serve God? Does God need serving? Isn't He almighty? How does anything that we do serve Him?

The truth is that we cannot. There is nothing that we can do that would serve Him. Only when you bring the Kingdom of God in to the world, can you be considered serving Him. And the kingdom of God is where people live in peace and love and people live righteously. If you spread love and joy around, you are serving God and putting a smile on His face. If you show people that you can care for them with no strings attached, you are demonstrating God's love, even if you are not a christian.

Anything other than that is either self serving or sector serving. Think carefully; does your work serve God? Or does it serve some other purpose?

And the church is NOT God. And neither is God restricted in the walls of the church. God can be found on sundays in service within the church, He can be seen moving amongst the people on other days as well. God is omnipresent and all powerful.

And it IS possible to love the church more than you love God. And it IS possible to be serving the church rather than serving God.

I'm not trying to say that anyone is NOT serving God. I'm just listing down facts, and hopefully you become clearer as to what things are. Of course, God DO recognise services rendered to the church. But we should not discount other forms of service as well. One does not NEED to serve in church to serve God. Our lives should be a form of service to God in a sense.

Stay blessed

Loving God, Loving the world

To many christians, to be the friend of the world is to be the enemy of God. To love God, is to hate the world, and vice versa.

I beg to differ.

"For God so loved the world, He gave His only begotten son."

The world is the creation of God, like man, it contains traces of His presence and identity and being. Interwoven in the creation of the world is God's signature and His love and effort.

Just like man. Just like man was the creation of God, so is the world. And anyone who claims that the world is not created by God cannot be a true christian. to claim that God did not have a hand in the tabloids, to claim that God was not the one to invent motor cars and aeroplanes or that He did not think of economic strategies that people could think of, is simply blashemy.

Just like how Lucifer started his life of rebellion when he refused to love what God had created

Are we going to hate the world in order to stay pure and 'to bring His kingdom on earth as it is in heaven?"

To want to bring the Kingdom of God to the world is to love the world. It means to love the people around us regardless of their background. Ruth was not a Jew; even if she was the wife of a Jew, even if she was a God fearer, she was not a Jew, and she will never be considered a Jew. Yet through her faith and her righteousness she was given the task of birthing forth a line of descendants that eventually brought Jesus to the world. Ruth to the Jews are like the normal citizens of the world to Christians.

Whoever mentioned that only Christians would bring forth the kingdom of God? Who says that only the believers will be used by God? Who says that God only touches those who believes Him?

God uses all. God loves all. And God is all-mighty.

I believe when you care for people around you, when you decide that you want to better the lives of others, when you give advise that brings people to a righteous life, when you mentor others to understand the morals and ethics behind a mature mind, you bring a glimpse of the Kingdom to earth. When you bring a smile on someone's face, you bring a smile on God's face. When you care for someone, you allow God to use you to care for people.

Love the world around you.

Cheers

Back In Singapore

Hey Guyz

Well, i've been back for a couple of weeks already. So i'd think i can give a fair comment about how i'm doing back in Singapore, spiritually.

For one, things simply do not change just because of your geographic position. That much i learnt since i arrived in America and found myself pretty much the same.

Adapting back to church and cell group taks pretty much actually. I had not realised that it took that much. Some things feels natural, as though i never left it behind, while some things have changed. I guess that goes for almost everything else too..

One of the problems i foresaw was the practice of speaking in tongues in my cell group. For someone who had not practiced it much over 8 months, i feel that this worry is well justified, however, it proved to be the least of my worries, cos it feels like i've simply picked off where i left it last. Or to put it in another way, it's as awkward as ever.

Other conceptual problems/conflicts that i see now are much tougher to handle. Things like the concept of prayer, the concept of serving God, as well as the concept of being a christian.

I still believe in the same God, i still feel like i would want to contribute to a better world as God envisions it. I still believe that God is all powerful and that He does miracles in our lives everyday. But i also believe that He does so despite our praying, not because of our prayer.

I still believe that God does not need us to serve. That He has plans that are in place that we cannot understand, and that we should not be so prideful to believe that we are the key to bringing forth the plan.

And i still want to believe that being a christian means to be God fearing, not fear the world, and to live life as well as you can, guided by the teachings that Jesus gave us through the Gospel. That all God wants is for us to obey his Commandments, and to guide others to follow His commandments and appreciate what He has given them, regardless of whether they know that it came from Him or not.

And i guess that basically places me out of the christian denomination complete..haha..so wierd. I've grown out of the church that i was 'born' in. even out of any church out there. So perhaps i'm simply in the midst of finding my world view.

And hopefully i remain persistant in pursuing the truth and accepting it. And God willing, i'll be able to find it too. Within my lifetime. Kinda like a life quest. Yepps. So that's Brian Wang Chongyu back in Singapore. Confused, uncomfortable but complacent, and irresponsibly silent about sharing that except through this blog. Just like anyone else out there. Just more honest. i hope..

Cheers

What i want from God

What i want from God.

Kinda difficult when i put it that way. I think that if everyone had just one wish they can make of God, they'd have trouble filling that up.

Sure, we do want many things in our lives, but they're not THAT terribly wanting [for lack of words].

i mean, i'm sure i want loads of money, no stress, all the anime i can watch, good food, car, a pet, a fit and healthy body. But these aren't really what i would pray to God for. Nope..Not even for good grades.

But if i had one wish i could make to God, is that He would walk with me, and let me know that He is doing that. It would just be so great if i could talk to Him and have Him answer back, like even play pranks on Him just to be sure that He is there.

Nope. I don't want money. i can do with pretty little. I don't want a good job from God; my life ain't defined by my job. I want friendship with Him.

And i'm pretty glad that i'm getting much of that in a way; when i have a friend who is around me when i need talking to, someone who would tour paris with me, someone who would take me to VivoCity for the first time, someone who would pester me to teach guitar to, someone i could visit at her booth to pass time, someone i could write letters to.

I still feel like the people around me are my greatest blessing. And that is coming from someone who hermits in his dorm studying or playing or watching anime who dun go out often. That says a lot. So you peaps who have loads of people/friends around you rejoice and give thanks!

"Our God is not a God of the dead, but of the living" - that means that God is not in your job, your car or your house; but the people in your life

Stay blessed
Brian

Being Christian [For myself]

Well, it's kinda back dated, but i've learnt something from visiting a friend's church during easter sunday

That being Christian doesn't mean that we are perfect, but that we seek the perfection of Christ. And Christ is the only man who is perfect, the one who has 100% for every test, who knows just what to do, what to say in every kind of situation.

And we are just people who struggle and try to achieve that end, but realise that we can never.

And we sin because we fall short of that perfection, not just because we did wrong stuff.

And i guess being christian for me means to reason my way through with views, with facts and evidences, and tangibles. But i really thank God for people He placed in my life who do NOT do things that way, so i have my balance through people around me. People who experience His joy and love and share that with me are SO important in my walk, and i thank God for all of you.